yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
