Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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