the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
