is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize