Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i would punch a child for taco bell
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Randomize
