This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
