its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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