Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
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walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
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We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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