i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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