Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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