There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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