the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
There's even glitter on my cock...
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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