i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
