I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
