If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
