remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize