i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
