Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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