Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
