I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
