I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
