4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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