I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She bit a glass in half.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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