I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
