I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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