I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
