Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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