great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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