We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
