Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
