No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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