"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
