he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
