i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I understand Curling. That high.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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