Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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