didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
