Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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