My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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