Moan for me like Helen Keller
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
