So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
