this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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