Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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