You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
