You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
