I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
