Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
