Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
