Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.