Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms