funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work