Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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