..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
