5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize