his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
