i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize
