ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
