it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
