the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
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You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
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One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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