plz talk dirty to me
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
birth control should be required to get into college
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Randomize
