Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
