I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
