i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
