I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
